By Invitation Only

Poker Harbour®

The Harbour Invitational®

Inaugural Tournament • Friday Harbour Resort • 2 Tables of 4

The Chosen Eight

The Players

Eight souls. Two tables. One champion. The first person eliminated at each table buys the winner 2 shots at The Muskoka Open®.

♠ Table One ♠

Braeden Milboss
Table 1

THE MILBOSS

Braeden Milboss

"Born with a silver spoon and a poker chip. Rumor has it he fired his last accountant for folding too early on a tax return. Will stare you down so hard your cards confess their own value."

Tylardy
Table 1

TYLARDY

Tylardy

"Nobody knows his real name. Nobody knows where he came from. The last person who asked woke up three days later in a different province with no memory and a losing hand tattooed on their forearm."

Austino 4K
Table 1

AUSTINO 4K

Austino 4K

"Sees the game in ultra-high definition while everyone else is playing in 480p. His poker face is so crisp it has its own IMDb page. Legally required to wear sunglasses because his confidence is blinding."

Sean The Sandman
Table 1

THE SANDMAN

Sean The Sandman

"Puts opponents to sleep — literally. Three players have fallen unconscious at his table from sheer boredom of watching him win. His bluffs are so convincing, he once sold a man his own car."

♦ Table Two ♦

Fatty Zacky
Table 2

FATTY ZACKY

Fatty Zacky

"Built like a refrigerator that learned poker. Takes up two seats emotionally and one physically. His chip stack is always the biggest because nobody dares reach across him to raise."

Low-Volt Lav
Table 2

LOW-VOLT LAV

Low-Volt Lav

"Operates on minimal energy, maximum destruction. So calm at the table that paramedics have been called twice to check his pulse. His tells are measured in millivolts — undetectable to the human eye."

Bulging Bulgarian
Table 2

THE BULGARIAN

Bulging Bulgarian

"Defected from an Eastern European arm-wrestling league to pursue his true passion: psychologically dismantling grown men over cards. His biceps have their own zip code and his poker face was forged in Soviet concrete."

Damian Alphamihelakis
Table 2

ALPHAMIHELAKIS

Damian Alphamihelakis

"Descended from actual Greek gods — or at least that's what he tells every single person he meets. His raises come with a philosophical monologue. Has never lost a hand he's lied about."

Non-Negotiable

Required Attire

Failure to comply results in immediate disqualification. No exceptions.

Required Attire - Dress Shirt & Blacked-Out Sunglasses

Dress Shirt

Crisp. Tailored. Buttoned. You're not here to play — you're here to dominate. Iron it or don't bother showing up.

Blacked-Out Sunglasses

Your eyes are a liability. Hide them. Fully opaque lenses only — if we can see your soul through them, they're not dark enough.

⚠ Official Notice

Players arriving without the mandated dress code will be denied entry, publicly shamed, and their seat will be given to the nearest houseplant.

Intelligence Briefing

Tournament Details

♣

Venue

Friday Harbour Resort
Games Room
Location disclosed to confirmed players only

♠

Format

2 Tables of 4 Players
Winner from each table advances
Texas Hold'em • No Mercy

♥

The Stakes

2 Winners receive 2 shots each on the house at The Muskoka Open®
Bought by the first person eliminated at each table

♦

The Muskoka Open®

The highly anticipated follow-up event
Winners drink free. Losers pay.
Details forthcoming • Stay sharp